i know i’m not the only one who has forgotten to build myself (and my own root structures) into the equation of my life and vision.

if you are leading a social enterprise or a mission or soul-based organization (even, or perhaps especially, an organization of one), there is an assumption baked into culture that you will put yourself last. a story that you cannot do “good” and support a family (the leader of a foundation funding mission-based work said that to my face once).

if you are an entrepreneur running a scalable business, there is an expectation that you should be willing to hustle and grind for the uncertain future of a big “pay-off” (even if that means sacrificing your relationships and health in the process).

if you also happen to be a mother, you are acutely aware that “sacrificial” mothers are venerated in culture, especially on “Mother’s Day”.

and, at least for my generation, “permission” to pursue a successful career came bundled with the expectation that our homes would be run and our children raised like we were also full-time, stay at home moms (sure, you can add career to your plate but you cannot let anything slip or lay anything down or you have failed).

i know that my own conditioning was amplified by an upbringing in which my needs and desires were not relevant data points as far as my caregivers were concerned (so much so that i stopped collecting those data points or even acknowledging that they existed).

but i also know that i am not the only one raised in survival mode, though some of the root cause(s) might be different, e.g., poverty, racism, addiction, lack of stability at home, or other adverse experiences threading their way through the fabric of our lives.

i happen to think that some of the most driven and/or heart-led people–particularly those who are drawn toward making the world a better place–are fueled by the experiences that caused them pain. someone told me once that “endurance athletes are either running toward something or away from something, and most of them are running away from something.” it felt true (we were on a long bike ride at the time). and the truth is, one of the reasons i was so compelled by the vision for the future i was creating (2009-2015) was because I was over-compensating for the parts of my life and history that felt untenable.

for all of the reasons, it is easy for us to build the scaffolding of our vision for the future on the assumption that we will make extraordinary sacrifices to see that vision come to life.

but it doesn’t work. or it works for a while until the whole damn thing collapses. and we take ourselves (and maybe other people) down with us. and then culture tells us we just need to try harder or be better.

when we are a solopreneur, a startup founder, a leader, then the stakes are even higher. because everyone is watching us. we are the role model. we are the example. people are going to believe what we do, not what we say. 

if we are not anchoring ourselves in the vision, why would someone else? 

if we don’t believe in what we are doing or we don’t feel confident that we can really make it happen, the disconnect is going to be felt (even if people cannot name it). 

if we are not making sure we have all of the skills and resources reasonably necessary to achieve the stated objectives, who is going to do it for us? ahem, no one. 

if we are asking for certain behaviors and relational dynamics, then guess what?! we better be able to demonstrate those behaviors (and move toward repair when we screw it up). 

if we don’t understand how and why our goals and action strategies relate to the larger vision, no one else is going to get it either.

if our metrics for success do not include our whole humanity in the present, we will sacrifice things we may not be able to recover later.

while i believe in building vision for the future, i also know that only this moment is guaranteed. there is no promise that you will reach the finish line. or that the finish line won’t be moved a thousand times. or that you will still have your health, relationships and well-being intact when you “arrive”.  it is really easy to work for “someday” and find that someday isn’t all it was cracked up to be. and you don’t get to retrace your steps and recapture the joy, pleasure, play and presence that is only available to you today. 

there is no “payoff” big enough to compensate you for breaking your body, mind and soul.

not only do you need the fundamental root structures that support  your basic well-being–safety, sleep, water, food, movement, connection, self-efficacy, belief in something bigger–the framework for managing complex change applies to you too (see more on this framework in my last email or IG post).

even if you aren’t creating or building something right now, you are still a human being living in a world in which change is rapidly accelerating (and more “in view” than perhaps ever before).

vision + consensus + skills + incentives + resources + action plan = success (or thriving)

ask yourself:

do you know where you are trying to go–how you want to feel, what you want to experience in this life, what you want to do differently–and why (vision and values)?

do youtrust this vision? do you trust yourself to hold it? 

do you currently have the skills you need to live out this vision (and if you don’t, where/how can you develop those skills)?

what are the positive feedback loops you can build into the process of stepping toward the life, person, experiences, vision you want to live or who you want to be (return home to)? how will you celebrate and acknowledge the small and big steps you take along the way? how will you step into the fullness of today while also building for the future?

do you currently have the resources you need to stay well and to thrive as a human? do you currently have the resources you need to meet your current objectives as it relates to your vision/life? if not, what additional resources can you bring in for support? or how will you adjust your goals and objectives based on the resourcing that is available to you now or in the near term; trusting that resources and the vision will continue to unfold as you move forward?

how will you take action based on the answers to all of the questions above? how frequently will you check your progress over time? how often will you revisit these questions and make adjustments based on what you know now that you didn’t know before?

**a note for you if you are in sheer survival mode right now: you may not currently have the capacity to utilize this framework. and i wouldn’t expect you to. as you can, focus on the basics (sleep, water, food). seek support if you need it. this framework will be here when you are in a different season, when you are safe, when it is not all you can do to survive.**

you need roots too. 

if these questions strike a chord as it relates to your capacity to hold and build vision, i invite you to sign up for the Potentiawaitlist or schedule a Discovery Call (link below). 

Love, Booth