I have been thinking a lot about the growth and healing process. Shocking, right?

You see, so much of my work, and the path toward healing and wholeness, requires taking stock of the beliefs, habits, roles and patterns that we continue to play out in our lives that are no longer in service to our well-being.

This includes the stories we tell ourselves (based on our past experiences) about who we are, how we are supposed to show up in the world, our value in relation to others, and so on.

We didn’t make these things up, at least not initially. There are reasons we may have come to believe (often viscerally) that we have to behave in the world a certain way in order to survive or that our value is somehow limited or in question.

Some of our responses and beliefs have even become involuntary and we actually end up recreating, reaffirming and even replaying unhealthy or damaging patterns and beliefs without even realizing it.

There are also the labels and mantles we take on as we navigate through the world. Some of these labels and mantles we adopted ourselves. Some are assigned by our family of origin. Some are assigned by our culture. And so it goes.

And then, there are other people’s perceptions. And here is the challenge with perceptions. Other people fill-in-the-blank of what they don’t know about us with the truth of their own experiences. As a result, other people’s perceptions of us may or may not have anything to do, may only be tangentially related, or may only bear a kernel in common with the truth of our experience.

In the convergence, it can feel like the story of who we are has been written for us. Not only have we become patterned to engage and behave in certain ways by our interactions with others, but we can find ourselves walking through life feeling unseen, unsupported, misunderstood, and all alone. Which is the exact opposite of what we need to thrive.

The last couple of months have been pretty intense on a personal level. I have come face-to-face with some of my own shadows: beliefs, behaviors, patterns, and even some of my wounds that I didn’t realize were still lingering beneath the surface. Not gonna lie. It hasn’t been much fun.

This experience got me thinking about snakes shedding their skins. Snakes shed their skin because the skin doesn’t fit anymore. When snakes grow, their skin does not. They have to shed the skin that doesn’t fit in order to grow.

Whether we are facing our own embedded habits, beliefs, behaviors and patterns, self- imposed labels, or are caught in the grip of someone else’s label, definition or perception of us, I recently recognized a commonality in what is required to move our own journey forward.

We have to choose to shed the skins that no longer fit. We have to choose to release that which is no longer serving us.

As long as we are holding on to an old pattern, belief or perception–which is totally human nature by the way–the Universe doesn’t know how to show up. And we may remain oblivious to how we are reinforcing the obstacles or barriers that feel like they are keeping us stuck.

Our choice doesn’t have to be demonstrative. In many cases, we won’t have to say a thing to anyone else. We just have to get quiet inside and state an affirmative release of whatever piece of the story no longer fits.

We may have to do this release more than once before our body fully integrates it. We can certainly choose to engage in some sort of ceremony if we find that to be helpful. EFT Tapping or Emotion Code release techniques could be supportive here as well. And we could choose to share our decision with someone safe or to process the release with a therapist.

But what is non-negotiable is the quiet resolution within ourselves in a moment of grounded presence to shed the skin that is keeping us from growing.

We can choose to hold on to old stories, hurts, patterns or beliefs.

Or we can release into a new opportunity for growth and healing.

Here’s to shedding skins, even though the process is uncomfortable and sometimes challenging. Know that you are not alone.

Love,

Booth

p.s. The Running on Empty Quiz is back up and running! If you want to know where you sit on the burnout scale right now, go here to find out!