I came across a twitter post a few years ago that really resonated with me and I have referred to it often since then:

People talk about caterpillars becoming butterflies as though they just go into a cocoon, slap on wings, and are good to go. Caterpillars have to dissolve into a disgusting pile of goo to become butterflies. So if you’re a mess wrapped up in blankets right now, keep going. @JenAshleyWright

This description rings true of my experience of personal transformation. And upon reflection, I would also say that this rings true of the creative process, building a business model, strategic planning, business iterations, and possibly even the chaos and pain we are witnessing all around us in the world right now.

Something has to dissolve before something else can be built or born in its place. We have to release what is (or was) in order to make space for what is next.

Anytime I take groups or individuals through process, there is a moment when they have more questions than answers. Everything feels tenuous and uncomfortable even as this stage is a necessary and important part of the journey.

Asking questions and being open to change can be very instructive and can ultimately help us deepen our connection with our own internal guidance system, but it is also a messy, scary process.

Anxiety, overwhelm and fear can go through the roof and we might respond reactively or overuse unhealthy coping mechanisms; making matters worse for ourselves or for others.

If we don’t allow ourselves to sit in the discomfort, we might find ourselves somewhere we never intended to be.

I think I have mentioned that, at least personally, I have felt the winds of change since at least last fall. I didn’t know where they would lead, but I could tell they were coming. And for the last couple of months, as I have navigated the goo, I have felt like I had nothing to say and everything to say.

I have tried to approach this time with curiosity and hope in lieu of fear, and for the most part, I have been successful at this framing.

I have felt energy flow through my body as I begin to create again and I have danced with despair.

I have grieved losses I didn’t know were coming and found some unexpected moments of healing too.

I have leaned on my tools and practices and community for support through the process.

And I have kept my desire to force solutions in check, and instead focused on allowing things to evolve in their own time.

In an economic system that is driven in part by content creation, I have continued to give myself permission to be quiet if I didn’t yet have the clarity to put my experience into words that could be useful.

Now I think I am ready.

I hope to become a regular part of your inbox again and to share some of the reflections from this time. And if you are a podcast listener, I feel the podcast coming back soon as well.

In the meantime, I hope you know that if you feel like a disgusting pile of goo right now . . . for any reason . . . or for all of the reasons, know you are not alone.

With no claim of certainty about the future, it is so good to be back with you here.

Love,

Booth

p.s. Applications for my June-December 2022 cohort program for Women Owned Businesses are now open and due June 10th. If you know any women who could benefit from this program, I hope you will share this information with them. All of the program basics can be found here.