What would you choose?

When we are grounded in our worth, we are less susceptible to the opinions of others. The feedback that has nothing to do with us. The stories that are no longer serving us (whether those are internalized or external narratives).

And that is not to say that we are less sensitive or empathetic. In fact, when we are grounded in our worth, we are able to hold space for others without setting off our own self-protective nervous system patterns … and we are able to ask for what we need and to set firm yet kind boundaries when we need to.

I used to love the question: “What would you choose to do if you knew you would not fail?” It felt like an invitation to be bold. To take risks. To live less afraid.

But maybe a better question is … “What would you choose if you weren’t trying to earn or prove your worth?”

The noise of the world is loud.

My unique nervous system blueprint has allowed me to tune out a fair amount of that noise while being highly susceptible to the internalized expectations that I have carried with me from childhood and the needs, wants, capacities (or lack thereof) of my closest relationships and the roles I have chosen for myself.

True belonging is predicated on our willingness and capacity to be and show ourselves. But in order to do that, we have to feel SAFE.

Our nervous system is like the wizard behind the curtain. Pulling levers. Allowing the “safe” parts to show up and engage in the world. And keeping the other parts locked away where no one can perceive them (ourselves included).

But we cannot rely on the outside world–on this culture–to pour unconditional acceptance and love in from the outside until we feel “safe enough” to show our true selves. It’s not gonna happen. At least not in my lifetime.

So what do we do? Sacrifice who we are and what we came here to be and experience because the world will never feel safe enough?

Or work with the nervous system to unlock the vault? To bring all of the parts of ourselves into awareness so that we can make conscious choices about where, with whom, and how we engage. In our own homes, with our professional endeavors, and with the outside world.