Have you ever felt like you were just as afraid of your own potential as you were that more might not actually exist or be available for you?
Just like it is possible to be as afraid of success as you are of failure?
Because success might mean change (something your nervous system hates), more responsibility, more expectations, or coming up against the edges of what you feel confident you can hold?
And because part of you has come to believe that you are not connected to source and resource in the same way that you perceive others to be?
“Part of me feels like I know exactly how powerful I am. And part of me feels like a terrified little girl hiding in the corner.”
This was me to my teacher fairly early on in the nervous system healing and expansion certification program I completed last year … a certification I stepped into with the exact intent to more fully embody my own power and voice.
The truth is that some of the qualities that make me “ME” are the very qualities that were deemed so threatening by my caregivers that they had to be beaten out of me (literally and figuratively).
If you have an inkling of your own power and potential, and it terrifies you, even a little bit, I get it.
Along this journey, I have wondered …
What can I do AND stay well?
What is stepping into my power going to ask me to do or change?
What if the fullest expression of my power feels too big for me to hold or sustain?
Will I have to “give up” certain things about my pace and life that I hold dear?
Will I alienate loved ones? (Spoiler alert: the people closest to us are often the most resistant to us changing.)
When will I have to move from my home? (Due to my unique living arrangement, a move feels inevitable.)
Will my body be able to hold it all?
Will I be exiled (because sometimes that’s what happens to powerful women)?
It feels scary. I get it.
Because like every other human your nervous system is more comfortable, if not content, with maintaining the status quo of your existence (the devil you know). And because you developed your nervous system adaptations for a damn good reason.
What if the very things you learned to deny about yourself– maybe because those qualities were challenging the status quo– are clues that reveal the path back to your wholeness and your full embodiment of your potential on this earth?
When I first landed in therapy in 2012, I told the therapist that my goal was to get up each day and feel called forward by vision and potential as opposed to being propelled forward each day by the distinct feeling that I was being chased from behind by something dark and dangerous; literally running for my life.
Little did I know then that I was describing the powerful contrast in experience between living in a body with a nervous system stuck in survival mode and living in a body with a flexible, dynamic and expansive nervous system …
A nervous system that can go into protection when it really needs to but doesn’t get stuck there.
A nervous system with the capacity to feel expansive, open, creative, curious, connected, and to taste and see potential within each of us and on the collective horizon.
A nervous system that generates action from a space of grounded presence as opposed to frenetic and desperate attempts to make the world feel less out of control.
The point of healing (aka becoming whole) isn’t to get better at survival. The point of healing is to learn to live a fully embodied life again. Or as Parker Palmer puts it “to live a life divided no more.”
When we step into wholeness, when we re-integrate all of the parts of us, when we invite our unique skills, talents, and ways of being to shine in the world, we are also stepping into our power, our agency, and our potential.
When we remember who we are, everything changes. The way we experience the world will be different. We may no longer be willing to make certain “trade offs”. We may claim for ourselves more than we ever dared to claim before. We may renegotiate certain commitments. We may set new or different boundaries around our time, energy and attention.
And every time we connect to the whole Self that is available within each of us, we are reminded that we are capable of so much more … compassion, curiosity, clarity, creativity, calm, confidence, courage and connectedness.
What a beautiful invitation … to welcome all of the parts of us back into connection and belonging. To become more centered and sure of ourselves while also deepening our commitment to collective well-being.
There is nothing to force here. Only a curious and gentle inquiry into what is available when we invite wholeness into the conversation.
Yes, your expansion will, by its nature, bring you to your edges. But your true Self isn’t going to drive you off a cliff or straight into a wall. Instead, with attention and intention, it is possible to gently tend to, restore, and expand your capacity to hold your wholeness.
If you have an inkling of your innate power and potential, but are feeling some trepidation, I want you to know that is totally normal and understandable. And I also want you to know that you don’t have to walk the journey alone.
I am looking for four individuals to join a six-month, small group experience in which we will work with your unique nervous system blueprint to help you step more fully into your own power, voice and agency. If you are interested, reply to
this email.
Love,
Booth
p.s. If you desire 1:1 support in reclaiming or stepping more fully into your own wholeness, somatic coaching might be for you. Check out my current coaching offerings or schedule a Discovery Call.